Hog on the Run
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I was a girl guide you know
Today I had wayward hosiery.
Hold ups are sexy, right? All that bare flesh at the top of your thigh, fresh air fluffing your unmentionables, a suggestion of a wayward nature. I remember seeing Coupling (the Brit version, OK, it was quality stuff) where the theory was put forward that only 5 pairs of stockings exist in the entire world. Women who have a new man in their life are allowed to borrow the sacred stockings during the early days of their relationship, in order to kindle passion. Once that time has passed, the stockings are passed on to the next lucky lady in line, which is why us girls only wear them when you boys are all new and fresh to us. Today was my day.
Anyway.
On discovering that the only pair of tights I could find had holes in them, I dug around in my drawer and found a pair of serviceable black hold ups. So far, so good. A slightly thrilling way to start the day, no? They were quite pretty, all lace topped and glossy. What could go wrong?
Cut to later on. Sadly the silicon sticky bits seemed lacking. Deeply lacking. Every time I stood up I could sense an odd looseness around the thigh area, a feeling of insecurity. Hmmmmm.
Surely, nothing could be sexier than hold ups drooping sadly around your knees, only being prevented from dropping all the way to the floor by what were previously one hot pair of knee high boots. Flappage was happening. Think of this vision as being like pirate boots with a humiliating twist.
I spent some time (all morning, really) running to the loo to yank them skyward. Only to feel them creep floorward again.
I briefly toyed with the idea of sticking them to my thighs with a Heath Robinson type construction involving panty liners folded back on themselves, tucked down the tops. Then I remembered that the only thing panty liners sticks to is pubes. Thank God, knowing my luck the damn things would have appeared at the hem of my black skirt like white ghostly paper harbingers of doooooom.
So I did what any ex-girl-guide worth her salt would do. I put rubber bands around my thighs to halt the inevitable pull of gravity.
Ladies, having no feeling in your toes, and a strange double bulge of thigh showing through a pencil skirt is worth it, if it rescues you until lunchtime, when you can escape to the blessed shop and purchase tights, fully crotch-covering wonderful fabulous desperately unsexy tights.
Happy Days.
:: gibbered Okapi, at 8:00 pm
10 Comments:
Stop ruining my fantasies! Aaargh!
I've done the rubber band trick before, very sexy. Also tried double-sided carpet tape which hurt like a MU-THA-FUCKIN'-FUCKA coming off. Would NOT recommend.
Mu hahaha. My evil plan is working. Actually, I feel slightly guilty now. Just slightly though.
I noted, with immense pleasure, that some poor soul googled for "dorm room girls" and ended up here. Truth hurts, don't it?
Hold ups are great, really. When they work. If I'd had carpet tape, I would have used it, agony be damned.
One time my grandmother bought me a bunch of (as I call them) thigh highs. She wore them all the time, thought I might like them. We won't go into any discussions of grandmothers buying their grand daughter stockings here, ok? It was a lovely gesture on her part.
I had a job that required me to wear hose if I was wearing a skirt. I decided to try the thigh highs, thinking they would spare me the dreaded "crotch at the knees" problem i seem to have historically had with pantyhose, me being above 5 feet tall. And that my nice fat thighs would do a great job of holding them up.
HA! The damn things squeezed my poor flesh into an hourglass shape, bulges below and above, and rolled down my legs like lightening, ripping out the little soft hairs on my upper thighs with that rubbery stuff meant to hold them up. They puddled at my ankles with embarrassing regularity, I had to sort of hobble walk to keep them up, I could not let my legs touch nor bend my knees.It was horrible.
I have always hated wearing hose of any type. These damn things just sealed it for me. AFter that, my main job requirement has been "Do I have to wear hose?" If not, I take the job.
In a happy afternote, I have found some wonderful thick black tights at M&S that I will deign to wear in deepest winter. Saved me from Ass Frostbite one or two times.
God Bless you Karla and Mona. It's an enormous comfort to me that others out there suffer from these trivialities as I do.
Holy crap you are so funny!!
This may sound a bit strange, but I find the old hen's night second date gonna get laid kinky maid suspender belt rather comfortable. Think about it: there's a fuck off huge bit of lycra about your waist holding the things up, and they're hooked on, so they don't slip down, and they don't have to squeeze your thigh into all sorts of unnatural shapes, so you're cheerin.'
The only thing is they sit so low on your thighs any modern shortish skirt rides over them, so you look kind of like Frankenfurter. And if your skirt sits low on your hips you see the suspender belt. So, if you want to dress all 50s housewise new look with a ginormous skirt and a girdle, go for it.
That is the trick. The suspender/stocking combo definitely require a lengthy skirt to cover the evidence. Kinkay!
I work with you, and thinking back on it I remember the day you wore these. Now I'm thinking about it in a whole different way...and I'll sleep much more soundly afterwards. See you tomorrow.
This is a nice blog for people like me. I have a foot free hose in pantie pic sexy blog with hot erotic stories and pictures related to pantyhose and foot fetish. Take a look at Pantyhosed Feet Gallery Viewer
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I was a girl guide you know
Today I had wayward hosiery.
Hold ups are sexy, right? All that bare flesh at the top of your thigh, fresh air fluffing your unmentionables, a suggestion of a wayward nature. I remember seeing Coupling (the Brit version, OK, it was quality stuff) where the theory was put forward that only 5 pairs of stockings exist in the entire world. Women who have a new man in their life are allowed to borrow the sacred stockings during the early days of their relationship, in order to kindle passion. Once that time has passed, the stockings are passed on to the next lucky lady in line, which is why us girls only wear them when you boys are all new and fresh to us. Today was my day.
Anyway.
On discovering that the only pair of tights I could find had holes in them, I dug around in my drawer and found a pair of serviceable black hold ups. So far, so good. A slightly thrilling way to start the day, no? They were quite pretty, all lace topped and glossy. What could go wrong?
Cut to later on. Sadly the silicon sticky bits seemed lacking. Deeply lacking. Every time I stood up I could sense an odd looseness around the thigh area, a feeling of insecurity. Hmmmmm.
Surely, nothing could be sexier than hold ups drooping sadly around your knees, only being prevented from dropping all the way to the floor by what were previously one hot pair of knee high boots. Flappage was happening. Think of this vision as being like pirate boots with a humiliating twist.
I spent some time (all morning, really) running to the loo to yank them skyward. Only to feel them creep floorward again.
I briefly toyed with the idea of sticking them to my thighs with a Heath Robinson type construction involving panty liners folded back on themselves, tucked down the tops. Then I remembered that the only thing panty liners sticks to is pubes. Thank God, knowing my luck the damn things would have appeared at the hem of my black skirt like white ghostly paper harbingers of doooooom.
So I did what any ex-girl-guide worth her salt would do. I put rubber bands around my thighs to halt the inevitable pull of gravity.
Ladies, having no feeling in your toes, and a strange double bulge of thigh showing through a pencil skirt is worth it, if it rescues you until lunchtime, when you can escape to the blessed shop and purchase tights, fully crotch-covering wonderful fabulous desperately unsexy tights.
Happy Days.
Hold ups are sexy, right? All that bare flesh at the top of your thigh, fresh air fluffing your unmentionables, a suggestion of a wayward nature. I remember seeing Coupling (the Brit version, OK, it was quality stuff) where the theory was put forward that only 5 pairs of stockings exist in the entire world. Women who have a new man in their life are allowed to borrow the sacred stockings during the early days of their relationship, in order to kindle passion. Once that time has passed, the stockings are passed on to the next lucky lady in line, which is why us girls only wear them when you boys are all new and fresh to us. Today was my day.
Anyway.
On discovering that the only pair of tights I could find had holes in them, I dug around in my drawer and found a pair of serviceable black hold ups. So far, so good. A slightly thrilling way to start the day, no? They were quite pretty, all lace topped and glossy. What could go wrong?
Cut to later on. Sadly the silicon sticky bits seemed lacking. Deeply lacking. Every time I stood up I could sense an odd looseness around the thigh area, a feeling of insecurity. Hmmmmm.
Surely, nothing could be sexier than hold ups drooping sadly around your knees, only being prevented from dropping all the way to the floor by what were previously one hot pair of knee high boots. Flappage was happening. Think of this vision as being like pirate boots with a humiliating twist.
I spent some time (all morning, really) running to the loo to yank them skyward. Only to feel them creep floorward again.
I briefly toyed with the idea of sticking them to my thighs with a Heath Robinson type construction involving panty liners folded back on themselves, tucked down the tops. Then I remembered that the only thing panty liners sticks to is pubes. Thank God, knowing my luck the damn things would have appeared at the hem of my black skirt like white ghostly paper harbingers of doooooom.
So I did what any ex-girl-guide worth her salt would do. I put rubber bands around my thighs to halt the inevitable pull of gravity.
Ladies, having no feeling in your toes, and a strange double bulge of thigh showing through a pencil skirt is worth it, if it rescues you until lunchtime, when you can escape to the blessed shop and purchase tights, fully crotch-covering wonderful fabulous desperately unsexy tights.
Happy Days.
:: gibbered Okapi, at 8:00 pm
10 Comments:
Stop ruining my fantasies! Aaargh!
I've done the rubber band trick before, very sexy. Also tried double-sided carpet tape which hurt like a MU-THA-FUCKIN'-FUCKA coming off. Would NOT recommend.
Mu hahaha. My evil plan is working. Actually, I feel slightly guilty now. Just slightly though.
I noted, with immense pleasure, that some poor soul googled for "dorm room girls" and ended up here. Truth hurts, don't it?
Hold ups are great, really. When they work. If I'd had carpet tape, I would have used it, agony be damned.
I noted, with immense pleasure, that some poor soul googled for "dorm room girls" and ended up here. Truth hurts, don't it?
Hold ups are great, really. When they work. If I'd had carpet tape, I would have used it, agony be damned.
One time my grandmother bought me a bunch of (as I call them) thigh highs. She wore them all the time, thought I might like them. We won't go into any discussions of grandmothers buying their grand daughter stockings here, ok? It was a lovely gesture on her part.
I had a job that required me to wear hose if I was wearing a skirt. I decided to try the thigh highs, thinking they would spare me the dreaded "crotch at the knees" problem i seem to have historically had with pantyhose, me being above 5 feet tall. And that my nice fat thighs would do a great job of holding them up.
HA! The damn things squeezed my poor flesh into an hourglass shape, bulges below and above, and rolled down my legs like lightening, ripping out the little soft hairs on my upper thighs with that rubbery stuff meant to hold them up. They puddled at my ankles with embarrassing regularity, I had to sort of hobble walk to keep them up, I could not let my legs touch nor bend my knees.It was horrible.
I have always hated wearing hose of any type. These damn things just sealed it for me. AFter that, my main job requirement has been "Do I have to wear hose?" If not, I take the job.
In a happy afternote, I have found some wonderful thick black tights at M&S that I will deign to wear in deepest winter. Saved me from Ass Frostbite one or two times.
I had a job that required me to wear hose if I was wearing a skirt. I decided to try the thigh highs, thinking they would spare me the dreaded "crotch at the knees" problem i seem to have historically had with pantyhose, me being above 5 feet tall. And that my nice fat thighs would do a great job of holding them up.
HA! The damn things squeezed my poor flesh into an hourglass shape, bulges below and above, and rolled down my legs like lightening, ripping out the little soft hairs on my upper thighs with that rubbery stuff meant to hold them up. They puddled at my ankles with embarrassing regularity, I had to sort of hobble walk to keep them up, I could not let my legs touch nor bend my knees.It was horrible.
I have always hated wearing hose of any type. These damn things just sealed it for me. AFter that, my main job requirement has been "Do I have to wear hose?" If not, I take the job.
In a happy afternote, I have found some wonderful thick black tights at M&S that I will deign to wear in deepest winter. Saved me from Ass Frostbite one or two times.
God Bless you Karla and Mona. It's an enormous comfort to me that others out there suffer from these trivialities as I do.
Holy crap you are so funny!!
This may sound a bit strange, but I find the old hen's night second date gonna get laid kinky maid suspender belt rather comfortable. Think about it: there's a fuck off huge bit of lycra about your waist holding the things up, and they're hooked on, so they don't slip down, and they don't have to squeeze your thigh into all sorts of unnatural shapes, so you're cheerin.'
The only thing is they sit so low on your thighs any modern shortish skirt rides over them, so you look kind of like Frankenfurter. And if your skirt sits low on your hips you see the suspender belt. So, if you want to dress all 50s housewise new look with a ginormous skirt and a girdle, go for it.
The only thing is they sit so low on your thighs any modern shortish skirt rides over them, so you look kind of like Frankenfurter. And if your skirt sits low on your hips you see the suspender belt. So, if you want to dress all 50s housewise new look with a ginormous skirt and a girdle, go for it.
That is the trick. The suspender/stocking combo definitely require a lengthy skirt to cover the evidence. Kinkay!
I work with you, and thinking back on it I remember the day you wore these. Now I'm thinking about it in a whole different way...and I'll sleep much more soundly afterwards. See you tomorrow.
This is a nice blog for people like me. I have a foot free hose in pantie pic sexy blog with hot erotic stories and pictures related to pantyhose and foot fetish. Take a look at Pantyhosed Feet Gallery Viewer
