Hog on the Run
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Office Security
MEMO TO ALL STAFF
For your convenience and safety, we provide the following information:
- Owing to the sheer numbers of staff now on leave with stationary-loss stress related illness, all pens, writing instruments, pencils and markers must now be chained to their owner.
- Tippex "mouse" style correction pens are now banned. They are obviously too bleeding edge, and no one can be trusted not to purloin them when they are left unattended.
- Any individual found keeping a pencil sharpener for their own use will be fined. Please use the cast iron sharpener, which can be found holding the door to accounts open.
- Pens will no longer be handed out willy-nilly. If you require a new pen, please return your used-up pen so that records can be kept. Your new pen will be available for collection after a waiting period of 24 hours.
- On no account leave food on your desk overnight. Or in the drawers. Even if they are locked. It just will not be there the next day, including the packet, which the gremlins will remove to make it look like there was never any food at all.
- There is only one labelling machine in the building. Please remember this, and do not remove it so that it can be hidden in your office.
That is all
Signed, the office ham sandwich office administrator
God I hate being in charge of The Cupboard
:: gibbered Okapi, at 5:18 pm
2 Comments:
Cupboard nazi ;)
I am thinking of attaching a fricking GRENADE to all my pens. And don't you hate when people on the phone come up and make that "writey" gesture at you, as if to say, HEY! YOU! GIMMIE A PEN....!
Like I have no name or feelings >:P
You get gestures? I feel so used....My pens just get lifted from in front of me without so much as a by your leave. Gits.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Office Security
MEMO TO ALL STAFF
For your convenience and safety, we provide the following information:
Signed, theoffice ham sandwich office administrator
God I hate being in charge of The Cupboard
For your convenience and safety, we provide the following information:
- Owing to the sheer numbers of staff now on leave with stationary-loss stress related illness, all pens, writing instruments, pencils and markers must now be chained to their owner.
- Tippex "mouse" style correction pens are now banned. They are obviously too bleeding edge, and no one can be trusted not to purloin them when they are left unattended.
- Any individual found keeping a pencil sharpener for their own use will be fined. Please use the cast iron sharpener, which can be found holding the door to accounts open.
- Pens will no longer be handed out willy-nilly. If you require a new pen, please return your used-up pen so that records can be kept. Your new pen will be available for collection after a waiting period of 24 hours.
- On no account leave food on your desk overnight. Or in the drawers. Even if they are locked. It just will not be there the next day, including the packet, which the gremlins will remove to make it look like there was never any food at all.
- There is only one labelling machine in the building. Please remember this, and do not remove it so that it can be hidden in your office.
Signed, the
God I hate being in charge of The Cupboard
:: gibbered Okapi, at 5:18 pm
2 Comments:
Cupboard nazi ;)
I am thinking of attaching a fricking GRENADE to all my pens. And don't you hate when people on the phone come up and make that "writey" gesture at you, as if to say, HEY! YOU! GIMMIE A PEN....!
Like I have no name or feelings >:P
I am thinking of attaching a fricking GRENADE to all my pens. And don't you hate when people on the phone come up and make that "writey" gesture at you, as if to say, HEY! YOU! GIMMIE A PEN....!
Like I have no name or feelings >:P
You get gestures? I feel so used....My pens just get lifted from in front of me without so much as a by your leave. Gits.
