Hog on the Run
Friday, March 11, 2005
Deviancy and the Dolls
While shopping the other day I found the most amazing thing. Wow, I thought, all Barbie's endless horizontal jogging with Ken has finally borne fruit. This cannot be, surely not, especially since I read this: it can't be true.
Let me tell you, virtually all my childhood games with Barbie culminated in her and plastic bewigged, genitally deformed Ken making the beast with two backs. My parents must have thought, "How lovely, see how peaceful the girls are", when really we were just waiting for them to leave the room so that we could move on from the dressing up to the stripping off*.
God only knows how that came about. Schpickley suggests that it was our way of releasing our fledgling sex drives. Or that we were just deviants.
Sometimes Barbie fancied a bit of rough, so she'd have it away with Action Man, who had the advantage of real hair (i.e. felt (thanks Schpickley) but only one leg. He also had perma-pants, molded in place and including a belt like Honey Rider's. We called him the legless lawyer, obviously conscious of class issues even aged eight.
It turns out I was wrong. The doll was Midge, one of Barbie's friends (although plainly one Barbie hasn't really got time for anymore, since Midge married tedious finance analyst Allan, got herself up the duff, and left behind her youthful dreams and morally bankrupt sex n'drug lifestyle.) I love the explanation for Allan's existence:
Allan® was conceived for three important reasons. First and foremost to target the "shared clothes" ideal with Ken®, second for the double dating possibilities and lastly as a "buddy" to Ken®.
The shared clothes ideal? And note those telling quotation marks around the word buddy. Read between the lines, and this says only one thing. Ken is definitely a switch hitter. For his part, Allan is a bigamist, marrying not only Midge, but also poor, innocent, trusting Vicky in Brazil.
Midge, for some reason, has freckles, which I can only assume somehow illustrate how wholesome her marriage-sanctified pregnancy is. Where are the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids, the morning sickness? She has a magnetically attached stomach/womb thing going on instead apparently....Still, considering the hoo ha she created over there you'd think playing with the doll would somehow instantly cause teen pregnancies**. It's too late to worry about it! Kids have a tendency to think up things you just wouldn't even imagine, no matter what you do.
Ignorance, lack of better options and low self esteem cause teen pregnancy. Not dolls. Just my two cents....
*The dolls, ok, the dolls. Deviancy in this case only goes so far.
**(2002? Well, I know this story is old, but this is Scotland, and we've only just got the 'lectric and the indoor water closet)
:: gibbered Okapi, at 10:14 pm
1 Comments:
My wife is going to have our child. She is concerned with geting stretch marks. So I am searching for information regarding them. Well, back to my search.
Thank you for the read,
home remedy for stretch marks
Friday, March 11, 2005
Deviancy and the Dolls
While shopping the other day I found the most amazing thing. Wow, I thought, all Barbie's endless horizontal jogging with Ken has finally borne fruit. This cannot be, surely not, especially since I read this: it can't be true.
Let me tell you, virtually all my childhood games with Barbie culminated in her and plastic bewigged, genitally deformed Ken making the beast with two backs. My parents must have thought, "How lovely, see how peaceful the girls are", when really we were just waiting for them to leave the room so that we could move on from the dressing up to the stripping off*.
God only knows how that came about. Schpickley suggests that it was our way of releasing our fledgling sex drives. Or that we were just deviants.
Sometimes Barbie fancied a bit of rough, so she'd have it away with Action Man, who had the advantage of real hair (i.e. felt (thanks Schpickley) but only one leg. He also had perma-pants, molded in place and including a belt like Honey Rider's. We called him the legless lawyer, obviously conscious of class issues even aged eight.
It turns out I was wrong. The doll was Midge, one of Barbie's friends (although plainly one Barbie hasn't really got time for anymore, since Midge married tedious finance analyst Allan, got herself up the duff, and left behind her youthful dreams and morally bankrupt sex n'drug lifestyle.) I love the explanation for Allan's existence:
The shared clothes ideal? And note those telling quotation marks around the word buddy. Read between the lines, and this says only one thing. Ken is definitely a switch hitter. For his part, Allan is a bigamist, marrying not only Midge, but also poor, innocent, trusting Vicky in Brazil.
Midge, for some reason, has freckles, which I can only assume somehow illustrate how wholesome her marriage-sanctified pregnancy is. Where are the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids, the morning sickness? She has a magnetically attached stomach/womb thing going on instead apparently....Still, considering the hoo ha she created over there you'd think playing with the doll would somehow instantly cause teen pregnancies**. It's too late to worry about it! Kids have a tendency to think up things you just wouldn't even imagine, no matter what you do.
Ignorance, lack of better options and low self esteem cause teen pregnancy. Not dolls. Just my two cents....
*The dolls, ok, the dolls. Deviancy in this case only goes so far.
**(2002? Well, I know this story is old, but this is Scotland, and we've only just got the 'lectric and the indoor water closet)
Let me tell you, virtually all my childhood games with Barbie culminated in her and plastic bewigged, genitally deformed Ken making the beast with two backs. My parents must have thought, "How lovely, see how peaceful the girls are", when really we were just waiting for them to leave the room so that we could move on from the dressing up to the stripping off*.
God only knows how that came about. Schpickley suggests that it was our way of releasing our fledgling sex drives. Or that we were just deviants.
Sometimes Barbie fancied a bit of rough, so she'd have it away with Action Man, who had the advantage of real hair (i.e. felt (thanks Schpickley) but only one leg. He also had perma-pants, molded in place and including a belt like Honey Rider's. We called him the legless lawyer, obviously conscious of class issues even aged eight.
It turns out I was wrong. The doll was Midge, one of Barbie's friends (although plainly one Barbie hasn't really got time for anymore, since Midge married tedious finance analyst Allan, got herself up the duff, and left behind her youthful dreams and morally bankrupt sex n'drug lifestyle.) I love the explanation for Allan's existence:
Allan® was conceived for three important reasons. First and foremost to target the "shared clothes" ideal with Ken®, second for the double dating possibilities and lastly as a "buddy" to Ken®.
The shared clothes ideal? And note those telling quotation marks around the word buddy. Read between the lines, and this says only one thing. Ken is definitely a switch hitter. For his part, Allan is a bigamist, marrying not only Midge, but also poor, innocent, trusting Vicky in Brazil.
Midge, for some reason, has freckles, which I can only assume somehow illustrate how wholesome her marriage-sanctified pregnancy is. Where are the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids, the morning sickness? She has a magnetically attached stomach/womb thing going on instead apparently....Still, considering the hoo ha she created over there you'd think playing with the doll would somehow instantly cause teen pregnancies**. It's too late to worry about it! Kids have a tendency to think up things you just wouldn't even imagine, no matter what you do.
Ignorance, lack of better options and low self esteem cause teen pregnancy. Not dolls. Just my two cents....
*The dolls, ok, the dolls. Deviancy in this case only goes so far.
**(2002? Well, I know this story is old, but this is Scotland, and we've only just got the 'lectric and the indoor water closet)
:: gibbered Okapi, at 10:14 pm
1 Comments:
My wife is going to have our child. She is concerned with geting stretch marks. So I am searching for information regarding them. Well, back to my search.
Thank you for the read,
home remedy for stretch marks
Thank you for the read,
home remedy for stretch marks
