Hog on the Run
Monday, February 21, 2005
Strangers are just friends we haven't met
It's a necessity to listen to music during the drive to work in the morning, an activity of such vital importance that I would be unable to work up to full consciousness without it. The primary reason for not carrying a passenger is that we might argue over which band to listen to, and the rage I'd be spun into by not being able to listen to The Killers, or Fugazi, or Dean Martin if I bloody well want to is simply not worth braving. But it isn't just the listening, oh no. It's the singing too, "singing" being a term I use to loosely describe my bellowing and hooting along with any given track.
This morning it was The Beastie Boys.
Okapi: (braying) "Let me get some action from the back section,"
(I'm trailing cigarette smoke from a lazy hand, window rolled down, all is good and right in my motorised world.)
Okapi: (bleating) "We need body rocking, not perfection."
(I am forced to stop by the car in front of me, lights, who stops for lights? I notice a man standing next to the car, on the driver's side.)
Okapi: (ullulates) "I wanna do the freak until the break of dawn,"
(Oh shit on a stick I've locked eyes with him)
Okapi: (howling) "Tell me party people is that so wrong?"
(Godamn it cut out the "singing"! You could still escape with a scrap of dignity intact.
But it's too late. I cannot look away, it's like my eyeballs are held in place by iron rods. Hapless witness stares back, mouth slightly open, face bewildered.)
Beasties: "The ship is docking,"
(No point in stopping now, it's just one more person seeing me make a right twat of myself.)
Okapi (bitterly, fixing pedestrian with a jaundiced expression suggesting I shout at complete strangers daily) "INterlocking!"
Beasties: "End up-rocking,"
Tortured onlooker actually steps back slightly, and raises a hand as if to fend me off.
Okapi: (triumphant now, made righteous by refusal to end the blood-curdling horror) "electro-shocking!"
Innocent bystander: looks bemused, but chastened.
After a final parting stare, I swivel forwards as if nothing had happened.
And drive away.
:: gibbered Okapi, at 8:13 pm
2 Comments:
Yoyoyo - you rock the mike!
Not anymore I don't. Are tinted windows expensive these days?
Monday, February 21, 2005
Strangers are just friends we haven't met
It's a necessity to listen to music during the drive to work in the morning, an activity of such vital importance that I would be unable to work up to full consciousness without it. The primary reason for not carrying a passenger is that we might argue over which band to listen to, and the rage I'd be spun into by not being able to listen to The Killers, or Fugazi, or Dean Martin if I bloody well want to is simply not worth braving. But it isn't just the listening, oh no. It's the singing too, "singing" being a term I use to loosely describe my bellowing and hooting along with any given track.
This morning it was The Beastie Boys.
Okapi: (braying) "Let me get some action from the back section,"
(I'm trailing cigarette smoke from a lazy hand, window rolled down, all is good and right in my motorised world.)
Okapi: (bleating) "We need body rocking, not perfection."
(I am forced to stop by the car in front of me, lights, who stops for lights? I notice a man standing next to the car, on the driver's side.)
Okapi: (ullulates) "I wanna do the freak until the break of dawn,"
(Oh shit on a stick I've locked eyes with him)
Okapi: (howling) "Tell me party people is that so wrong?"
(Godamn it cut out the "singing"! You could still escape with a scrap of dignity intact.
But it's too late. I cannot look away, it's like my eyeballs are held in place by iron rods. Hapless witness stares back, mouth slightly open, face bewildered.)
Beasties: "The ship is docking,"
(No point in stopping now, it's just one more person seeing me make a right twat of myself.)
Okapi (bitterly, fixing pedestrian with a jaundiced expression suggesting I shout at complete strangers daily) "INterlocking!"
Beasties: "End up-rocking,"
Tortured onlooker actually steps back slightly, and raises a hand as if to fend me off.
Okapi: (triumphant now, made righteous by refusal to end the blood-curdling horror) "electro-shocking!"
Innocent bystander: looks bemused, but chastened.
After a final parting stare, I swivel forwards as if nothing had happened.
And drive away.
This morning it was The Beastie Boys.
Okapi: (braying) "Let me get some action from the back section,"
(I'm trailing cigarette smoke from a lazy hand, window rolled down, all is good and right in my motorised world.)
Okapi: (bleating) "We need body rocking, not perfection."
(I am forced to stop by the car in front of me, lights, who stops for lights? I notice a man standing next to the car, on the driver's side.)
Okapi: (ullulates) "I wanna do the freak until the break of dawn,"
(Oh shit on a stick I've locked eyes with him)
Okapi: (howling) "Tell me party people is that so wrong?"
(Godamn it cut out the "singing"! You could still escape with a scrap of dignity intact.
But it's too late. I cannot look away, it's like my eyeballs are held in place by iron rods. Hapless witness stares back, mouth slightly open, face bewildered.)
Beasties: "The ship is docking,"
(No point in stopping now, it's just one more person seeing me make a right twat of myself.)
Okapi (bitterly, fixing pedestrian with a jaundiced expression suggesting I shout at complete strangers daily) "INterlocking!"
Beasties: "End up-rocking,"
Tortured onlooker actually steps back slightly, and raises a hand as if to fend me off.
Okapi: (triumphant now, made righteous by refusal to end the blood-curdling horror) "electro-shocking!"
Innocent bystander: looks bemused, but chastened.
After a final parting stare, I swivel forwards as if nothing had happened.
And drive away.
:: gibbered Okapi, at 8:13 pm
2 Comments:
Yoyoyo - you rock the mike!
Not anymore I don't. Are tinted windows expensive these days?
